there I just said it I'm scared you'll forget about me

Me n Kat basically didn't part from our guitars/home-made shaker of unpopped popcorn until this was done. And we now have a name. I'm feeling the momentum of the progress, there is no doubt.

Falls Gallon>

I wish Al was here to say that I'm going to be ok for my exams.  He was the only one I ever believed when he said I could do it.  Oh well, I know he would still believe that I can make it, he's the only person i think that didn't see me as slightly unintelligent.  But I wish he could say 'just do a good job Britty' and do that funny smiley winking thing he used to do and his ears would move when he smiled haha.  dear al. i always miss him when exams come.  he knew i could do things.

transgress the confines of marked boundaries but

oh what a contrast you were
to the brutes in the hall
my timid young fingers held
a decent animal

so this is your maverick
and this is Vienna

the sun came out and spoke of promise and the future
clarity and despair
so I packed my case and headed for the open window
I'm sorry but this was never a rescue mission
I'm so sorry

I'll howl, oh I'll howl on, til my belly aches with hollow.
And I'll howl, oh I'll howl on, til I can sit and sing you my songs again.

don't be mistaken, no not for your confirmatory glances.
I do this to remind myself of freedom and despair,
of one day parting from my youth.
So watch but do not stare,
and let me do this
for myself.

"I remember this young guy died and I took his part
He got far too many stitches on his pretty face.
Long time no see but I always thought us two would be serious,
But I was looking around town, thinking the same as you"

Couldn't work out what the first two lines meant even though they kept replaying in my head for days
then Amber said it must be that he took his place in the coffin at his funeral
so beautiful and sad

-Long Distance Call (Phoenix)

don't you just love this life when it's holding you back

lower the lanterns, lock the gates, fingers fumble latches in the storm that chills the beast outside your door.

put my arms around strangers,
danced like fools in a circle to music I'd heard a thousand times before but it never loses its magic.
Felt at home in the midst of my acquaintances,
felt guilty for making him stay when he was tired, but he didn't understand that I needed this.
Waved to someone who wants me more, felt ashamed and powerful.

Funny how the others in the band speak to me more than my brother,
Alex was keen to know how the sound was going,
Tim gave me a shout out to tell the world that a song was for me.
It made me feel like I was worth something.
Missed having Kat around.

Was high while it lasted, but the come down was worse than ever. 
I guess it's all give and take, but I hate the payback for feeling alive.
Now I'm in the nothing zone.  But it was worth it.

I think I'll make my home on this train
it will always feel like I'm going somewhere
live my life by the rhythm of the tracks

Buying lots of vegetables makes me feel more like i'm living
I think I might be a little strange?

I sat on the bench every day this week and noticed how Autumn paints its colours.  I felt the chill creep into the air at the same time in the evening, the clockwork chill.  A little black cat could not be bought with food, too frightened by the world it was thrown into.  But it made me a friend, the only other person at the university who noticed it was there.  Liam was at the window looking at him wandering by the opposite bench under the big trees that had shed their leaves to warm their feet.  He was eating an apple, the glass made us use sign language.  Point-shrug-laugh.  It was an unexpected exchange, it made me laugh.  What was more surprising was suddenly finding him coming outside to get a closer look at him.  So much interest amidst other people who didn't care.  It made me happy to find the same spark of interest and observation in someone else.  We tried again but he would have no bar of the museli type hurriedly got from Liam's office downstairs.  But it gave us an excuse to keep talking.  Small conversation but we were genuinely smiling.  An agreement I could keep the museli bar, an invitation to call in to talk if I was bored.  A handshake and an exchange of names, but we knew we could use the word friend interchangeably if we wanted to.

And this is what made me laugh and changed the way the colours sat upon the world around me, because I walked a little neater, and a smile crossed my mouth before I went to sleep.

Jack Frost is at the window.  He looks a little cold.  But don't believe him when he says he just wants to warm his feet up at your fire.  The little man just wants to claim your house as his own, and turn your carpets white.  So shut your windows, lock your doors, there is no room for you here Mr. Jack Frost!  By the way, you're a little late this year.

stumbled upon these illustrations, am overwhelmed with joy.  I hope some day I can do something like this.